i don't like sucking hair
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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