3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
