I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
