her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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