her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
