so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
