Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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