do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
