Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
