Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
