Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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