my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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