The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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