I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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