And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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