the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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