seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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