Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
