She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
