I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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