I'm pants shitting drunk right now
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
