i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
