Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
