dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
