Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
