man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
