I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
