I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
