Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
