There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
