you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Randomize
