its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
