I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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