he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
