btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
