so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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