thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
