so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
