All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
