Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize