I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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