I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
