hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
