Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
