I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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