yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
