I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
