I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
