this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
