And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
