What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just had sex on a roof
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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