I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
